I was volunteering at a festival last weekend, I was a wellfairy. We were looking after a safe space for people to visit when they were feeling a little bit overwhelmed or overstimulated. A place to come and chill out so they could feel grounded before heading back to their camp, or back out to enjoy the music or other entertainments going on.
One of the other wellfairies offered up some advice to some people on the last day as we were packing up. He said always think from your heart, I chipped in and said no more than that, you need to live from your heart. Thinking isn’t enough, you need to actually listen to what your heart needs. You need to be able to quieten your thoughts (ego) in order to hear what your heart is saying. The ego is just trying to protect you, which is why it’s so loud, quieting it can be hard sometimes. Meditation can help with this, but that’s why it’s called meditation practice, it takes practice to quieten your thoughts.
We all need to connect with our hearts though, to take time in quiet communication with them. If we do this we will hear their needs, our needs, actual needs that is, not wants. So often we get fixated on what we want. Our wants generally come from our ego, while our deeper needs often come from a quieter place within us. Wanting a new car, wanting a new handbag, new clothes, shoes, make-up etc. Our needs are different, needs are things that our body, mind or soul are calling out for, these tend to not be expensive things, the majority will be free.
You may feel a need for connection, movement, to be in nature, to eat something nourishing, to sleep, to laugh.. or even to cry or to scream.
Releasing negative emotions is a need and something that we definitely need to do. There’s far too much said about being positive, the need to be positive.. who came up with this, we don’t need to be positive all the time, what an unrealistic concept this is. How can we be positive all the time, that’s ridiculous. Sometimes a good cry is what we need.. crying isn’t bad, it’s actually good for you. Tears contain stress hormones and chemicals, some researchers believe that crying could reduce the levels of these chemicals in the body and reduce stress. Crying also releases oxytocin and endorphins, which make you feel better. So don’t hold back your tears, if your heart says you need a cry.. cry!! Allow yourself to feel, don’t put a happy face on it, sob, cry and scream, you’ll feel better for it afterwards.
Needing to scream in anger is also allowed, we can be angry, anger isn’t forbidden, it’s how you direct anger that causes problems. We don’t have to direct our anger at another person. You can feel anger at something that someone has done or at injustice in the world. You can then acknowledge the anger, understand why it is there, and then express it safely. Releasing the anger is important, don’t let it fester in you. Go and scream at the ocean or into a pillow. Allow the heat and frustration to pass through you, really feel it, from the soles of your feet to the top of your head, let it bubble up in you, and release it all in a giant scream. Then afterwards, do what dogs and ducks do.. shake it off. Give yourself a full body shake, reset and get on with the rest of your day.
So how put this into practice, how do we live from our hearts? How do we connect with our heart? How do we quieten our egos enough to hear the quiet voice within?
There are many ways to do this. No specific right or wrong way, meditation may work for some people, they will be able to sit and quieten their thoughts enough to hear their inner voice, their heart, but this won’t work for everyone. I am not a good meditator, I try, but my thoughts aren’t easy to let go of. I still practice every day though, as like I said, it’s a practice.
For me journalling is my go to for finding out what I need, what my heart needs. I sit with my journal and write the question: What is my heart asking for? Then I wait for something to come through. I don’t force it, I just sit and wait, listen for the answer to the question, listening for my heart’s response.
Today I need some nourishment in the form of healthy food and I need to take it easy and relax. I need to stop stressing about my to do list and chill out.
What is your heart asking for today?
Make sure that you take the time each day to ask the question, make it something that you do regularly throughout the day too, not just once. You can set yourself reminders in your calendar, or pop a post it note somewhere you will see it – even better, turn the question into a piece of art and put it somewhere you will see it.
Then, ask the question, listen to the response and act on it.
Let’s all start living from our hearts. 🙂
